House on the Rock

All summer long, Joe and I attended an 11-week intensive Biblical training course. Every Monday from 9 AM to 9 PM, we sat in the arctic upper room of Lafayette’s Northend Community Center. We heard compelling lectures from some of the best Biblical counselors in the business. And then we got to sit in on live counseling sessions with living, breathing counselees as they work through suffering and sin. It has been brutally tiring and beautifully fruitful.

Even though we were being trained on how to Biblically counsel people, I often felt like I was the one being Biblically counseled myself. There have been sessions on worry, suffering, parenting, marriage, how to read the Bible, forgiveness, and hope. It taught us how to think through every situation Biblically, to understand that God’s Word really does have the answers to the tough stuff in life. It’s been incredible. But I don’t think I was fully prepared for that Monday morning session when Dr. Dan Wickert assumed the podium, and I don’t think I’ll ever be the same again.

Dr. Wickert is an older man, a retired OB/GYN who now oversees quality assurance at hospitals in the region. I noticed he walked in wearing a Franciscan Lafayette badge, and my body shuddered a bit. Franciscan Lafayette was home to the darkest three nights of Mom’s entire cancer battle, where she laid unconscious for reasons no one could determine at the time. My stomach has a visceral reaction when I think about that place.

Then, his title slide flashed on the overhead projector: “Counseling People through a Medical Illness”. Even better, I thought. This won’t be traumatic at all. But deep breaths in and out, I prayed that this would be good for me.

And oh, how it was. Over and over, I was reminded of God’s gracious provision as I thought about all of the people who counseled us through that devastating illness. He surrounded us with so many who knew exactly what to say and how to pray. My eyes filled with tears of joy as Dr. Wickert shared that a person can die and still have victory because of Jesus. I thought about my beautiful mom, who whispered just under one year ago, “If I live I live, and if I die, I live.” Victory, all because of Jesus.

But the mountaintop moment for me that morning was a series of questions he asks counselees as they suffer a soul-crushing illness, or really any kind of trial. It goes a little something like this:

1. Could God take this away from you? (answer must be yes)
2. Did he? (answer is oftentimes no)
3. Why?

The answer to number 3 is what makes all the difference. It’s what sufferers are forced to grapple with as they reconcile the idea that a perfect God in perfect wisdom might allow suffering for a reason that is, after all, perfect. And I think the answer lies prominently in Romans 8:28-29 —

²⁸ We know that all things work together for the good of those who love God, who are called according to his purpose. ²⁹ For those he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, so that he would be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters. 

First of all, He works things together for good, for His purpose. A purpose we cannot understand, other than to know that we were created to glorify God and enjoy Him forever. So something about our suffering glorifies God. More on that later. But the next verse is equally crucial: so that we may be conformed to the image of his Son.

Suffering is meant to make us more like Jesus. To look upon our suffering servant and celebrate that our suffering makes us ever-so-slightly more conformed to His image. To remember the God-man that left Heaven’s throne to endure beatings, persecution, and death on a cross. Forsaken by God, so that we may never be.

What I love most about that Monday morning lecture is it gave me a script for times when the valley befalls.

1. Could God have spared my mama’s life? Yes.
2. Did He? No.
3. Why? For our good and His glory — and to make us more like Jesus.

1. Could God have saved our first pregnancy? Yes.
2. Did He? No.
3. Why? For our good and His glory — and to make us more like Jesus.

And it even works for so-called lesser trials too:

1. Could God have given me an easier co-worker to deal with? Yes!
2. Did he? No!
3. Why? For our good and His glory — and to make us more like Jesus.

Anytime I hear or encounter suffering these days, my knee-jerk reaction is that very line of questioning. Could God have prevented this? Yes! Did he? No. And little by little, I’m becoming more okay with the “why.” That His glory is the most important thing, and every drop of suffering is worth it if it makes us more like Jesus.